Friday Night Lights trip again. Eighty nine miles forth. 15:15 hours, I left Douglasville and headed East. I got an earlier start then usual but traffic hit an Atlanta Friday Overload. The drive should have been ninety minutes but with two “Red Alert” (all lanes blocked), I was delayed ninety minutes. Friday’s drive was different from the others because when you are sitting instead of cruising at eighty-five, it gives you too much time to think. It gives you time to realize the pit and pain in the stomach is not due to hunger. Life has become an illusion of living under water. I feel like I am the goldfish in the bowl, seeing but not feeling. My mind slips into neutral. Sometime I sit and think but lately is has just been sitting. Time keeps moving but I can not keep up with the speed at which it moves. I get up at seven and make into work by ten thirty. Three mile drive. I have no idea where the time goes. Evening is even worse. I am not ready to talk about the evenings. Saturday and Sundays…. not even close to figuring them out.
I made it in time for team warm ups. Shared thumbs up wave with Gavyn. The Bad Guys whooped up on the Home Team. Not that they were so much better then the Good Guys, but they had this tailback who cut through the defense like a chain saw through a pine tree. I would have used the hot butter knife analogy, but who uses one? Eighty nine miles back. This may sound funny but the Lord blessed me with a west bound thunder storm of high cross winds and blinding rain for fifty of the miles. I do not think I could of made back if I had the opportunity to think.
I have no regrets. I did everything I promised her I would do that day when my world stopped and her’s went upside down and sideways. Grief sucks.